The Bride

O let Christ's bride live on him, and take all from him! As a poor woman married to a rich man, she lives upon his riches. Many are ready to say, that if Christ would call us his bride, we would live on ourselves; we would pray, repent, believe, &c.; but the bride of Christ must get all these things in him, and take all from him, and live wholly on him, and freely on him. When Joseph's brethren did not know him, they were buying and selling with him, they would have nothing from him without money; but when they knew that he was a brother, for all the offences that they had done him, they were content to come down every man of them, and take all from him for nothing; this is the way you must do with Christ, when matched to him; we must not, with the legalist, have repentance and duties of our own, we must take all from him, who is the repository of all divine fulness, whereof the believer's part is, out of that fulness to receive grace for grace.

From the sermon:
The Best Match; Or, the Incomparable Marriage Between the Creator and the Creature
by Ralph Erskine

Camping @ Kettle Creek

Left home/Home on Wednesday, much later than we had hoped (as usual when we're going away.) Fortunately we still had daylight when we arrived at the campground, and we were able to pick the "perfect" site. It is shaded with Hemlock, Pine and River Birch (which I only know because my lovely daughter is forestry expert.) Shade and a level spot are the two main criterion for choosing our spot. However on this trip the trees are more of a rain umbrella than a beach umbrella in function. We've had a fair amount of rain. The park is remote, heavily forested and beautiful. Our campsite is right on Kettle Creek, which is a large creek, nigh to river. It's not trout season now, so fishing isn't at it's prime, but you can cast your rod right from the site and Barry has. He's fiddling with his rod & lures now. We've settled into camping mode now that we have some semblance of order in our site, the initial "grouchies" which we all were exhibiting initially, have flown, and peace has covered our little home away from home. Yesterday we had some intermitant rain, but also saw enough sun to make some wonderful memories. We explored the lay of the park by car, visited the dam, lake, and park office. We had the camper's breakfast with "real" bacon and eggs; mom only gets real bacon on rare occasion, and forces the healthier turkey stuff on the family most of the time. We went for ice to the "Dam Store," yes that's really its name. The sign reads, "the best dam store around." Sara and I went to the lake beach in the afternoon while dad fished below the dam for a while. There was one other family at the beach, but they also were chased away by a brief cloudburst. It was followed by lovely sunshine and we lingered. We had the thrill of sighting a pair of Bald Eagles and we watched them soar and roost for probably over an hour, it was a special gift from our Father. We also saw some interesting water birds, brown in color with spear-like beaks. They were diving birds and we watched them bob and dive, and dive again. They looked like the Anhingas which we had seen in South Carolina last year, but these were smaller. We don't have our field guide so we'll have to look them up when we get home. Dinner was forced under cover of our awning by the rain last night. We finished up the day with a double feature of The Waltons, which was new to the kids and they enjoyed it. It's lunchtime now and we've lounged around the site all morning, due to the rain which continues to shower. We had a Great Blue Heron visit our site this morning, passing by on a 'fish-walk.' Barry's still been able to fish a bit in the rain. Barry and Sara just ran down the road as bears have been reported to be visiting the campground, and of course they need a better view. I like the view from here thank you very much. When they return, we're heading to the "big" town of Renova, for gas and supplies. Dutch oven dinner tonight, with chicken and zuchini. If the weather clears maybe a hike. Our Father is good and the though we'd prefer a vacation with sunshine, being together as a family and making a few memories is more than enough to be grateful for...and we are.

To Love Christ

Photo, by Sara Beatty

Jonathan Edwards, The personal narrative of Jonathan Edwards, 1740

As I rode out into the woods for my health, in 1737, having alight from my horse in a retired place, as my manner commonly has been, to walk for divine contemplation and prayer, I had a view that was for me extraordinary, of the glory of the Son of God, as Mediator between God and man, and His wonderful, great, full, pure and sweet grace and love, and meek and gentle condescension. This grace that appeared so calm and sweet, appeared also above the heavens. The Person of Christ appear ineffably excellent with an excellency great enough to swallow up all thoughts and conceptions, which continued, as near as I can judge, about an hour; such as to keep me a greater part of the time in a flood of tears, and weeping aloud. I felt an ardency of soul to be, what I know not otherwise how to express, emptied and annihilated; to lie in the dust, and to be full of Christ alone; to love Him with a holy and pure love; to trust in Him; to live upon Him; to serve Him and to be perfectly sanctified and made pure, with a divine and heavenly purity.
(taken from Martin Lloyd-Jones, Joy Unspeakable)

Why are you here?

I don't know who you are...you who are stopping by today, stranger, friend, family. You are here for a reason, and so I'll tell you the story of why I'm here. Not here on this blog, but here on this planet. My story is uncomplicated, unsophisticated, and nothing to draw attention to a life of spectacular merit. I grew up in a family where I was loved, taught to be a person of character, although I was often without character (especially to my siblings) and sometimes I was just a character. I was a flower child, wandering meadows, and gazing at stars, talking to animals, sketching the world and writing it's poetry. But always since I was young wondering where HE was? I thought maybe He lived in the Church with the big stained glass windows and robed men, or maybe in the sky or the forest. Already I hid scars from wandering the rocky road, as childhood faded. The teenage years lead to looking "in all the wrong places," as the song goes, looking for peace, for relief, for acceptance, for love.... but I wasn't really looking for Him. I thought I would find happiness if I looked in the right place. I thought a true love may save me from the pain of this world, but chasing that dream only lead to more pain, more longing. I didn't find love, but I found out what others want to steal. The small scars of childhood were not healing, but growing. So I tried to drown them, cover them, not feel them, and maybe, I thought (in my warped thinking) here I would find the answer. The flower child was no longer innocent, the flower was wilted. But...down into the darkness He was speaking, whispering of who He was. I wanted to hear him... to find him, but I also wanted to choose my own road and so I disregarded Him. He was not thwarted, He sent people, His special people to tell me. They were peculiar, they were magnetic. I was drawn. He broadcasted, He published, He even sang to ME. He called to me in so many ways and finally this broken child surrendered. I didn't know the right way, there was no-one to teach me how to come, He taught me. He spoke to me as I fumbled to read my bible, "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Rom 10:9 And so, I did. I called a friend and confessed with my mouth and I'm sure she thought me mad. I confessed to my parents and they declared it must be another phase, like my brief one as a vegetarian (wow, I love a good steak.) My innocence was restored, He made me new. He sent kind brothers, and sisters to teach me, to care for me. Now a babe again, I learned and grew. But, I was still on a rocky road, and so young. I didn't stay straight on the path He laid for me, I wandered, but His voice was always calling. I was oppressed with a heavy weight of guilt as I wandered away from the One true love I'd known. As I grew into adulthood He showed me my childishness, the foolishness of disregarding eternity, and I opened the door for Him again. When he apprehended my whole heart, HE kept it. It was always His, he knew I would come, because I was chosen, I was sealed. I belong to Him. Now life is still traveled down a rocky road and the ups and downs, twists and turns have included seasons of joy... as well as seasons of my unfaithfulness, but NEVER his. His faithfulness endures forever. And so I am in Him now 30 years later, and He is in me. And that is why I'm here (on this planet): to show, to display who He is... for you. Oh no, the representation is not complete, it's still a work in progress, but he has sustained me these many years to tell you: He came to rescue sinners, he came to rescue me...and you. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Rom 10:9

To God be the Glory Forever and Ever, amen.

(a flower child once again)

Redi Says Hello

This is my horse Redi. He's just stopped by the front door to say hello, he's a friendly chap. Yes, we have horses in our front yard. This is one of the ways our family/life is unique. Some folks have dogs at their front door. We have horses. My husband, has been clearing land for the past three years here on our homestead. We have a paddock with no grass, a pasture which was recently re-seeded but is not quite ready for the horses, and one large area (future pasture) that still needs to be tilled and planted. So the pickin's were slim for the horses this spring. My husband noticed all the wonderful grass growing in our lawn and surrounding area, so it has now become a house within a pasture and if you come to visit us, you may also have a close encounter with a horse. The horses are thrilled with all their new munchies! Oh, and by the way if you come up the drive and get to a fence, don't let this surprise you. The good news is it's not electrified, feel free to let yourself in without fear of shock, or you can just give a toot on your horn and we'll let you in. We want you to feel welcome, so we don't turn on the fence, hospitable huh?

The Prodigal Kitty

Tigger gets a welcome home from big bro, Scout

Tigger is home, Praise the Lord, my kitty is home! Well, this news I herald may seem insignificant compared to God's wonderful prodigal story. But our humble kitty prodigal has helped the truth of God's prodigal story sink down to a new depth in my heart, as after all... it's my story too. Tigger is a shy boy, he is quick to flee when feet tread too near or fast. He is not trusting of strangers or even family members at times...but, we have "a thing," he and I. He trusts me. I 'cat-whisper' to him, and he believes it's OK. He likes to be held in a particular way with his feet draped over my shoulder, and then a scratch on the chin. He has a sweet way of switching his tail, a way that is unique to him alone. He is known, his fears are known, his ways are known. Why would I be drawn to a fearful little beast? I just love him. Why would the Father be drawn to me? A fearful little beast. God just loves me. I can't explain what drew me to love a cat that likes to run and hide. God's love for me seems so mysterious too. Why choose me? The only possible response is gratefulness.

Tigger has not been a wanderer, because he is so very fearful, he has stayed close to home. But one day recently Tigger wandered, and did not return. Days went by, and then a week, and my fearful thoughts were "he's so timid, he'd never roam, he must be dead." Lots of prayers, by me and for me went up to the Father. Tears followed... for now concern was turning to grief. If you've not loved a cat you won't understand. Don't try, but I do love the kitty. We have other cats and though I love them too, but this one was special, this fearful one needed someone to love him, and I was his someone. Now, our other kitties reminded me of him and that he was gone, and sadness would wash over my heart.

Now God, my Father, had a special one too, a fearful and wicked child whom he loved, but who wandered away and disregarded the love he had offered. He knew the wicked child and whispered to the child of his love, but the child still walked away. I am the child and I left my Father, he offered his love and I rejected it and thought I could find my own way. My way left me in peril wandering in a world that cared nothing for me. The only one who truly loved me, I rejected. And the Father grieved, as I wandered. But there was someone praying, ever interceding on my behalf, someone who also died for me, to bring me home.

One morning a few days back, my husband slipped in early while I slept and with joy presented the kitty, who had come home. I scooped him up and squeezed him, and then my husband whisked him away for his "fatted-calf," of kitty chow. One reason this story affects me so, is because of this kitty's response to his homecoming. Now, we have other cats, including one that will wander for days, and return as though nothing has changed. Tigger's homecoming was different. He was starved of course, he had never been a "hunter." His little kitty spine was now protruding through, as I stroked his back. Tigger was a needy cat the day he returned. If cats can hug, that cat hugged me most of the day (I think the pic above verifies, they can.) He wanted to be held, or would lay on my lap all day long. If I would leave the room, he would follow. When he slept, he would awaken, meow, look for me and once he saw me he would settle back to sleep again, reassured that I was still there. He was a grateful kitty. Just as the prodigal son realized his folly and ran home to his Father's welcoming arms, so my Tigger had come home to me, and rested in the safety of my arms.

I've reflected this week on the grief I had caused my Heavenly Father before I accepted His love. I've realized that if I, a human, with pitifully weak reflections of love, could feel such love and loss for a cat. Oh, what had I done to my Father? And how, even now, I must grieve Him when I forget to draw near and receive the love He is just waiting to shower upon His beloved child, love He is waiting to shower upon fearful, sinful...me. How great the love of my Father, that he receives me back with no accusing, "Where were you?" or "What have you done?" Just a Father's welcoming embrace and nearness. I am looking more closely to Him now. I want to feel the embrace of the one who loves me, I am safe in these arms.

Luke 15:17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

One Anothering

Love one another with brotherly affection Rom 12:10
Outdo one another in showing honor Rom 12:10
Live in harmony with one another Rom 12:16
Do not pass judgment on one another Rom 14:13
Live in such harmony with one another Rom 15:5
Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you Rom 15:7
You are...Able to instruct one another Rom 15:14
Greet one another with a holy kiss Rom 16:16, 1 Cor 16:20, 2 Cor 2:13
When you come together to eat, wait for one another 1Cor 11:33
Have the same care for one another 1 Cor 12:25
Aim for restoration, comfort one another 2Cor 13:11
Agree with one another 2Cor 13:11
Through love serve one another Gal 5:13
NOT...provoking one another, envying one another Gal 5:26
Bear one another's burdens Gal 6:2
Bearing with one another in love Eph 4:2
Be kind to one another Eph 4:32
Forgiving one another Eph 4:32
Adressing one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs Eph 5:19
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ Eph 5:21
Do not lie to one another Col 3:9
Bearing with one another Col 3:13
Teaching and admonishing one another Col 3:16
Abound in love for one another 1Thes 3:12
Taught by God to love one another 1Thes 4:9
Encourage one another 1Thes 5:11
Always seek to do good to one another 1Thes 5:15
The love of every one of you for one another is increasing 2Thes 1:3
Exhort one another every day Heb 3:13
Stir up one another to love and good works Heb 10:24
Do NOT speak evil against one another James 4:11
Confess your sins to one another James 5:16
Pray for one another James 5:16
Love one another earnestly 1Peter 1:22
Keep loving one another earnestly 1 Peter 4:8
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling 1Peter 4:9
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another 1 Pet 4:10
Clothe yourselves...with humility toward one another 1 Pet 5:5
Greet one another with the kiss of love 1 Peter 5:14
We have fellowship with one another 1 John 1:7
We should love one another 1 John 3:11
Love one another 1 John 3:23, 2 John 2:5
Beloved, let us love one another 1 John 4:7
We ought to love one another 1 John 4:11
If we love one another, God abides in us 1 John 4:12

The Mystery, in me and out of me.

Christ in me, I in Christ. Both are truths for those who have called upon his name, laid down their lives, to take on His.

"....this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Col 1:27

"....And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” ICor 1:30

It is indeed a mystery, the depths of which will be explored for the remaining days He gives this one. I have been "in Christ" for 30 years now, and yet I am but a babe in knowing and understanding even a bit of what it means to be in Christ and that He is in me. Thinking on it lately is changing my heart, awakening my spirit ...which has been lazy. I want to welcome the Holy Spirit to move in my life. I love the Word... it's riches are truly what is awakening my spirit, as "faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." (Rom 10:17)

"Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? 3 Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? " Gal. 3:2

I fear that I have been for too long a foolish Galatian, and that my journey has been in far too great a measure by the flesh and not by the Spirit. This is sin and requires a turning and I am grateful that the Lord has been merciful to show it as it is. When He is in, then He should also be out: displayed in my life in service for His Glory. As I hear His Word and walk this road, allowing His Spirit to have His way, I will be made into His image for His Glory. Christ in me the hope of Glory.

Ephesians 5:15-23

Ephesians 5:15+
....Because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

The Fisher

Amazing how a very ugly, furry carcass will draw menfolk from far and wide. Tonight there was some strange sort of man-party on my porch as they gathered to see...THE FISHER. The story begins as my hubby finds this dead carcass along the roadside and does what every he-man would do, he picks it up and brings it home (in my pink storage container.) I feel the pull of the homeschool moment coming on, a teaching occasion, we can learn about the Fisher. I'm not quite jumping for joy at his arrival, but the whirr of excitement begins...Calls to knowlegeable "Fisher-men," contacting friends, neighbors, game officers. Apparently these guys are not too common. He is in the weasel family and is about 3 feet long. So all the men gather on my front porch, in the dark, talking about and examing the carcass. I am not present, this is a testosterone charged circle and I don't want to get too near the glow. My husband forgets he hasn't eaten his dinner, as it sits in the oven petrifying in the name of the man-circle. Real men don't need dinner. If they get hungry enough, maybe they'll even eat that Fisher. It ends quietly with all the neighboring tribesmen returning to their clans. And my husband is left alone, to ask his wife, that would be me, if he may put the carcass in the freezer beside the fish sticks and chicken legs. The 3 ft long carcass. I haven't looked yet, I may not look at all. He promised it would be gone in one week. Maybe we could live without frozen food for a week.

Mark 1:17 And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.”

Recent sunset on the farm.

Sweet Reward

These days are good, when I remember where I've been. These days are good when I don't. These days are a reward for having laid an offering of wee ones before you, helpless to nurture what I could not comprehend. Somehow, they fly. It is a miracle that you use the helpless to raise the helpless, but it is part of your design, and it is perfect. When now I begin to see the spark of what they are to become, what a joy. It is not for me to receive any praise or due, because I was the helpless and you were the helper. How many times I cried in not knowing. How many times I cried for you to take me away from this task you bestowed. I knew I could not go on. You knew I could. Thank you for receiving my offering to you. Thank you for multiplying it and making it something that may feed the many. Thank you for my children, how blessed I am to have been molded by you through their little hands.

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.

Overdue... a prayer

Longing, I am longing to be real with you to you today. Lord, I have hidden from this keyboard. I ponder the whys and wonder if in some way I may be hiding from some "thing" that you want to speak to me. The act of hiding from truth is a dangerous affair, leading to no good thing. It's core is unbelief, questioning of the goodness of the Holy. Perhaps, I'm hiding from the looking. Writing probes the heart in some way, that is unexplainable. I see what I could not see and maybe what I don't want to see. A mirror or magnifyer, either, revealing things You need for me to see. So, here I am, a tad reluctant, but asking to see. What is it Lord, that is askew? Show me where I'm missing the mark. I'm not to fear, you are slow to anger, and quick to listen, as I'm to be. You flood my heart with Grace, love, peace, your nearness is my good. You gently show me how I can be right, like You. It's in the blood, it is the scarlet that makes white, brings light to darkness, removes all need and want of hiding. Oh the blood of Jesus, that washes white as snow.

Alone

It's the day after SuperBowl and the week prior has been buzzing here in SW PA, capital of the Steeler nation. Parties, plans, friends and feasts. What a game, a roller coaster of emotion, and the pulse probably never resumed it's normal rate, from start to finish. It may finally have settled when head was on pillow. The season ends with a burst of glory... and then today, silence, well here on the farm at least. The streets of Pittsburgh not yet. But the silence will come even to Steel City streets. I was feeling a little glum that big plans swirled around me, happy gatherings, but they didn't work out for us. Kind friends invited, but sick tummies and headaches etc...meant a "quiet" viewing with "just us." A little lonely on such a big day. And then my mind turned to the aloneness of my Savior. It was indeed the biggest game of the year, of the century, of all history and he had invited many guests. The table was spread with a wonderful feast and gifts for all attendees. The people shouted and cheered and waved their "terrible palms." On the day of the big game, they came, but to jeer. There were no longer friends to cheer for Him, to stand by his side... even His Father turned away. He willingly laid down his life for us all and was alone. The game was won, but it was no game really, it was a cross, and He suffered beyond my imagining. And now I am never alone and HE is victor.

Phil 2:5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Blessed to have this view

Winter of 2009, has decided to dig in deep and we are surrounded by a sea of snow here. Beautiful, yes, deceptively beautiful. Temperatures so low they can quickly freeze the skin have been the theme in Western PA this past week. I'm grateful for the view from inside out, and that the one from outside in is brief. So helpless we would be even for a very short time out in the elements, yet God tenderly cares for the deer in the picture above. Their coats don't seem much warmer than mine, but somehow God has made them to survive and thrive. It makes me thankful. I live a life in which I have never been without the comfort of a warm home. My niece returned from China this week and reports that there is no heat in the building where she works, in fact there is no heat in this particular region, full of universities. She wears her coat at work every day. The students all keep water bottles to warm their hands. Such a simple thing which I take for granted, warmth. I am not owed it, nor do I deserve it. Sometimes I ponder whether the comforts we've enjoyed here are a blessing or a hurdle. Suffering grows a good garden in men, and comfort can make us lazy. I'm glad to be reminded that God is lavish in His kindness with the good gifts He gives, and cautious to heed the warnings that comforts bring. Thank you Father that true comfort is not from the warmth of this home, but in You, and in the salvation from the cold sting of sin, that you give to all who would call on You.

2 Thes 2:13 God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth. 14 To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.

16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

What's New?

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

What's new on the farm? Well, our baby girl is now sweet 16, able to get her learner's permit, wow! Time flies by. She had a wonderful surprise party over the weekend with many friends, smiles and ice skating. She was quite stunned by the surprise. We have Matthew home until Jan 18. The horses have "barn" fever, and can only get out occasionally due to the weather and mucky ground (which can be dangerous for them.) We now have 6 cats, and ALL are currently living inside! Ugh, it's a long story. Three were indoor cats, one new little kitty came in when it got cold and two remained in the barn. Then they needed to be neutered/spayed and came in to recover. They liked in...and the house cat chased them out of the barn after they recovered. So, they're in. We enjoyed the Christmas holiday with a houseful of family from out-of-town, and though no white Christmas, it was wonderful. More family arrived for the New Year. Now the house is quiet... school and work have resumed. Does anyone else flounder after being without a schedule for so long? It sure takes me a while to get into a groove.

This is a time of year for contemplation and analysis for me. Where is my life headed? Am I on the course that I want to be on? What kinds of corrections need to be made to get me back on course and what new roads may need to be traveled? New Years Resolutions? Well, yes, I have a few of those. But I'm more interested in why I was sidetracked from my previous goals. Where did I go wrong? I have to look below the surface of each goal. Yes, I want to keep up with my Blog better. Yes, I want to lose weight. Yes, I want to eat healthier foods and be more active. Yes, I want to have a more even disposition, less anger and more joy. All noble goals, but without help I know where these resolutions end up...no where. I need help to succeed and strength to stand against temptation. And most needy I am for grace and mercy to start over when the inevitable failure occurs. Success does not come from within... from will power. I have a lot more won't power than will power. I need a source of resources beyond my own, I need God. My greatest need for change is not found in any of my resolutions, my greatest need is for more of Him. So my resolution is to look to Him in all these things. I want to see struggles become victories, and then God gets all the credit which He alone is due.