What to do in the Desert

My Soul Thirsts for You
A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah.

63:1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

What shall I do when I'm dry, when I'm needy, when I feel like I'm in a desert?

I will look for You. I have seen You, but now I must look for you.

I will praise You. You are better than anything that I may have been chasing. Nothing else can fill my need.

I will remember You. You have not forgotten me. I may forget You, You never forget me. You've always rescued me.

I will cling to You. Because You hold me , nothing can remove me from Your hand, nothing. You are my desperate need, I won't let go because you won't let me.

Bunnie the Horse

Bunnie gets a workout

Well Suited

Exhausted, to the bones am I. Today we had an early departure for Grove City, and spent the day shopping with Matthew for a suit for "The President's Gala." As you can see from Matthew front and center above, the mission was successful. We walked the outlet mall from approx. 11:30 until 4, a lot of walking. I have been wanting a nice visit to the outlet mall...but to shop for fun. This was serious business with a deadline. He needed to be back to be ready by 5. I did take Sara back to one store, after Matthew was delivered to get ready for the dance, because she was such a trooper, being drug from one menswear store to another ALL day. Though exhausted, I am a content mom. Both kids knew that mom made special time for them, and served them in love. That is a joy.

Barry's outside supervising the biggest bonfire in farm history, hoping the wind dies down. Soon we will all collapse. Matthew's probably dancing, we'll be sleeping.

I'm Still Here

(Check out the radio link at the bottom of the page for some music while you read!)

It's been a while, a week, since I last blogged. So, maybe nobody's out there any more. I've been a lazy writer. But...the show must go on!

It has been a busy few days! Friday class on friday; girls day out on Saturday, took the girls to Nim's Island; Sunday was church, The Jungle Book play at our community theater and our friend, Drew's, 50th b-day bash on roller skates. It was so fun to see all of the over 40's (and under 40's) having fun on wheels! Monday required a bit of recovery since the dishes and mess were reaching great heights. I required a bit of recovery too. I've been having some breathing issues related to allergy/asthma and so Tuesday was off to the doctor. Now I'm on steroids, joy. One day and I already feel SO much better, breathing is a precious thing. I thank God for breath because there have been a few times when it has been hard to come by.

Today Sara and I are working on cell structure, mitochondria, golgi bodies and endoplasmic reticulum etc., etc., etc..... Cells are indeed complex and we've studied 40 vocab. words supporting that claim. How much faith it requires to believe that these things could occur by random mutation. Just one cell is so amazingly complex, and I have no idea how many are in a human body. It's just beyond comprehension and leads me to be in awe again of the great God who created each mitochondria and each individual human being. It's easy to have faith in that.

I've also been cleaning up the dust bunnies today. I think they were ready to attack, looking a bit like dust Jack-a-lopes! Not so good when you are having allergy issues, so we're caging the wicked bunnies (in my vacuum bag.) Later we hope to go for a ride on the horses, if we can find them under the 1/2 inch of mud caked on there bodies. So, we'll have to leave extra time for mud removal.

The new kitties have grown a good bit and have opened their eyes. They all look about the same to me, but Sara tells me the picture above is of "Angel." Sara has her big volleyball tournament next friday, go Eagles! Barry is experiencing tax relief... relief that he finished on time. We're always down to the wire. We're hoping the college aid stuff got there in time (it's due at the same time as taxes). I'll try to do more blogging this week (although the weather IS warm, sunny and gorgeous!) Say hi if you're still out there. Oh, try out the new radio at the bottom of my page if you like while you read.

Let's Ride!

Yesterday was our first big riding day. The weather had been nice enough before, but the people weren't healthy. So, we got to enjoy the most glorious spring day, outside on our horses. Now, horsey people know, that a horse that hasn't been ridden for a while is prone to all sorts of naughty behavior. They test you afresh as to whether you mean business, they want to have a little spring party fun and GO! They can also completely forget the place (and familiar sights) where they've ridden time after time after time...and react in fright. We had a little of that, but overall no major mishaps or unhappiness. My horse is naturally "scary" about new things, so he was nervous, but did well overall and I stayed on, that's most important. Sara rode Ricky the pony, and he was his usual hyper self, but behaved well also. She did have a minor problem, when she wasn't quite "tuned-in" to pony body language. He was at the end of the ride and started pawing the ground, which is what horses do before they reward themselves with a nice roll in the dirt. Maybe she thought he just wouldn't dare, but he did...and down they went. So, she had to bale off and then let the naughty pony have it. Sara didn't appreciate her mother laughing at the situation, but it was such a funny picture, and she really was in no danger. All in all it was very pleasant day.

Today was walking day three, nice weather has helped get me going. I'm enjoying the spring sightings, daffodils, nesting birds and gobbling turkeys. It's a great time to pray and think, which I find I really needed more that the extra half hour of sleep or GMA.

I like the alone time while I do barn chores too, another great time for thought and prayer. The horses have all been getting out a lot and that makes for a peaceful herd of equines. The rain just started to come down, the April showers the poem promises. I should run to the barn and put the horses in, but they'll be o.k. for a bit.

This afternoon is laundry time, and I'm going to be thinking about finding joy in the mundane, finding my joy in God while I work and thinking about the dear folks that I serve while I fold, sort and put it all away.

Ps.71:23 My lips will shout for joy,
when I sing praises to you;
my soul also, which you have redeemed.
24 And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long

A New Day

It looks like spring is finally springing on the farm, small signs of life are everywhere. The deadness is being transformed. Today was a time for change. I have been neglecting my health and the care of the body I was given. So, I decided to start walking in the a.m. before the day's work begins. I have several "issues" (bursitis in my hip and plantar fascitis in my heel) that may make it a challenge(can we say pain), but we'll see how it goes. It is always a joy to start your day out in the Lord's creation, with evidence of his handiwork new with each turn. I reached the end of our road this morning and startled a herd of deer, they never saw me coming. My neighbor's draft horses munched their hay, and geese, on a mission, were honking across the sky. It is such a blessing to live in this place where evidence of God is all around. Of course, we were able to find that evidence in the (more) concrete jungle of our former life, it is inescapable.

Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. 2 Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.

I'm also starting some dietary changes, I've been cutting out the coffee and trying to make better choices in general. All of these are great, but if I neglect my true source of strength and health, I will not succeed. Because, although these changes may be good, the change God looks on, is my heart. Am I drawing nearer to him, desiring more of Him and his Word? It is natural for us humans to try to fix our problems on our own, but we end up spinning the treadmill, and getting nowhere. God will not let anything else be my Saviour-not me, not friends, not success, not family. He is the only Saviour. I'm thankful for Christ's death on the cross, He pardoned me for all of the sinful choices I've made, like allowing myself to be satisfied with "things" rather than Him. I want to make better choices for my physical health, but, more importantly, I want to make "healthy" choices for my heart. I need a daily intake of God and His Word to grow and change.

Romans 12:1 by the mercies of God...present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

On Suffering

Every Thorn Has It's Rose~
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peasap/1625639532/

If I didn't suffer,
would I still look to you?
If I never felt a pain,
what would I then do?
Would I lean upon myself,
be my own balm and might?
And blindly walk along, never needing,
never knowing it was night.
But kindly, you have loved me,
and have given me a thorn.
I'm sure I would not choose it,
but that would be so wrong.
A gift of love it makes me need,
and long for help and cry,
To the only one who can really see
because He is the light.
I cry for help, his balm is sweet,
He comes quickly to my side.
Because I come in lowliness,
I will not be denied.
Johanna

God is so kind to allow his people to suffer. Pain is used by God to keep me from wandering away. I know that I tend to become so self sufficient, but in his mercy he gives each of us trials: pain, suffering, loneliness and griefs in life that we, at the time, do not usually desire or understand. These are threads that He uses to hold us to himself, to keep us from wandering, thinking more of ourselves than we ought and being satisfied in small things. They show us our dependence upon Him. I know that I won't go looking for them, but when they come may I remember why.

Savannah and her brood

A Quick Hello

A quick hello to everyone out there, its late and I should be sleeping (actually it's early.) Barry's had the flu for 5 days, which alters life at home. He's been off from work Friday and today. Hope's to go back tomorrow (though when they hear him hack in the next cubicle, they'll likely want him to go back where he came from.) He is feeling much better. Sara was sick before him, but not as sick. I have a touch of something, but praying that'll be all. We had new kitties arrive about the same time as the flu. We took our "fat" barn cat to the vet for shots, the doc said, "Oh no, she's not pregnant." Well, she kept growing and a few weeks later... three little striped kitties. We planned to have her fixed but thought she was already pregnant...too late. She lost two kittens, 5 total, 3 live. Sara cared for dad and horses on Saturday so I could travel to Pittsburgh for a homeschool conference. The best part was hanging out with some wonderful lady friends. The Lord has been speaking in many ways, even gave me a song at 5 a.m. yesterday. Seems like He likes to talk to me in the wee hours when I really need to hear. I used to write a lot of songs, however this is the first in a long time- but it's not near to done yet. Well, off to sleep, sweet dreams dear ones.... I'll try to write again soon, and I have pictures to post too.